This post was written by Sarah Avila of My Joy Filled Life. Originally published July 2013.
As your school year is coming to a close, you sit back to reflect on how the past school year went, only to face the hard reality that you will be leaving more boxes unchecked than checked on your list of accomplishments for the year.
The grand school plans you worked so diligently to lay out didn’t come to fruition. You haven’t even cracked open that art curriculum you just had to have, the literature studies you pined for were nonexistent, and Latin……… oh, you forgot? Yes, you planned on teaching Latin this year.
As a homeschooler, I’m sure you’ve probably experienced a bad day, or a bad week. And some of you have even had a bad month or two, and yes, it is possible to have an entirely bad year.
Most likely, you started out your fresh, new school year full-steam ahead – excited about the decisions you had made about curriculum, anticipating the fun activities and projects you had planned – only to be thrown off-track by what I like to call…LIFE!
A number of things may have thrown a wrench into your school year:
Maybe your family is moving across the country smack dab in the middle of the school year.
Or
Maybe your spouse has lost his job.
Or
Maybe you are pregnant with your 5th child, and baby is due when you normally would be starting school.
Or
Maybe someone in your family is dealing with a chronic illness.
Or
Maybe this was your first year homeschooling and you just couldn’t get into a groove, so the whole year just felt like it was full of too many trials and far too many errors.
Or
Maybe it was a combination of some of the above.
Whatever it is that may be causing you to feel inadequate, incapable, and that maybe your kids would be better off in public school, just know that you are NOT alone.
You aren’t the first homeschooler who has had a lousy year, and you won’t be the last. There are other homeschooling moms who have been through these trials before and some that are going through them right along with you. This past year, I had one of those years. Moving two times (with another move on the horizon) and having our 7th baby, all within one year’s time, did not make homeschooling easy or enjoyable.
As a homeschooler who is currently going through this, let me share with you some things that will hopefully help you through this trial, and help you stop beating yourself up over a not-so-successful year:
- First, and most importantly, PRAY! Get on your knees and hand this all over to Him! Pray that the Lord helps you through whatever trial you may be experiencing, that He will guide you in making changes to your homeschooling approach that will work for this season, that He gives you peace and comfort in knowing that He is in control.
- Give yourself GRACE! God does, and He gives it freely! His grace provides us with all of the strength and sufficiency we need. God’s grace is enough!
- Prioritize and stick to the basics. If your school year isn’t going as planned and ‘life’ is getting in the way, stick with the most important subjects like math and language arts, and put the electives and extra-curricular activities on hold. Don’t worry, your children will be learning more than you realize, as ‘life’ will become the lesson in your homeschool. Plus, God will provide and fill in any holes we may miss – God provides our every need, even when it comes to our children’s education.
- Set reasonable goals. Set goals based on your circumstances. If you are due to have a baby at the start of your school year, don’t jump in full-force – maybe you should start slow or even delay the start of school for that year. If you are gearing up for a move, maybe that won’t be the year that you should plan on teaching 4 of your children how to play the guitar, especially when you have no experience yourself.
- Do some summer school. If you find that you are behind at the closing of your school year, use the summer to catch up. That’s one of the beauties of homeschooling – you can pretty much do it anytime you choose.
- Let go of the guilt. Don’t feel guilty that you aren’t providing your children with the academics that you think they need. Remember that this is a season and it will pass. The life lessons your children are learning during this bump in the road far outweigh what they would be learning academically.
I don’t know about you, but I’m counting playing outside as PE – at least that subject was a success.
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Aaaaaamazing, sometimes it’s so nice to be reminded to let go of the guilt 🙂
Amen! I think sometimes too it’s easy to see all your failures and we miss the good things! I hardly believe anyone’s year was a TOTAL bust. Your kids learned something. They are another year older and wiser, and maybe it didn’t go as you planned, but that’s okay. There is always next year 🙂
Thank you for your encouraging words! It was one of those years with loss of job (husband) and major illness with my son. Thank God both were taken care of and now just catching up.
When I get behind, I get frantic and panicky. I keep doing school with a drudgery attitude. I also worry that someone I going to come knocking and take away my right/privilege to homeschool my children. This year, I am scheduling more breaks, so we can evaluate how we at doing more often. I also pray for God’s protection guidance and peace. I lay all of my fears at His feet, usually repeatedly and walk in faith. The more I force school, the further we get behind. The more I enjoy school, the more my kiddos do.
I soooo needed this. We moved and had a baby this year… and got a rather large puppy, and our school year has suffered way more than I care to admit. Especially with other parents and family asking so many questions about our homeschooling and making sure we’re “up to par” the guilt has definitely set in. I’m so glad to know it’s not just us, we will survive, and grace abounds. Thank you for the sweet reminder…. as we do our summer school. 🙂
This post hit me in the face… Let’s just say this year has been the hardest year on me since I started homeschooling 8 years ago. I feel like giving up honestly. I’ve talked to my husband about putting the kids in school and after praying I know that’s just not the right thing. My heart just hasn’t been in it this year. We moved from our home of 7 years which is where all 3 kids grew up. We left behind great friends so I thought but once we have moved we are the only ones keeping in touch. This year has been painful, hurtful and full of stuff I didn’t foresee. Thank you for this post, I know I must let go of all this but as I am praying it’s just not happening yet…… XOXO Kayla
This is fantastic!
These ideas are good for any project that one feels is going bust.
Good post! As one who is transitioning (ever so slowly) from unschoolint to using a bit more structure, I can relate. I feel like our school yeay hasn’t really been what it should, either.
I definitely needed this reminder, thank you SO much for sharing your heart with honesty. This last year was definitely a bust for our family with so much going on. But the beauty of homeschooling (and grace!) is that we can dust ourselves off and start a new year fresh. I’m going to continually remind myself of this post when I start to feel guilt sneaking in. Thanks again!
Thank you for sharing…This was my first year, and we definitely had many struggles/trials!! I appreciate reading advice/experiences from other “older/wiser” homeschooling moms! <3
Thanks so much for this post! This is my first year homeschooling, I had our 3rd child in September, and we moved in March. I’ve been feeling discouraged over all the things that didn’t get done. We’re still chugging along through the summer and hopefully things will be better next year!
I feel the EXACT same way! Thank you for being so honest, it’s nice to know I am not alone.
We left our home in NY of 5 yrs and moved to CA 5 months ago. I hear you loud and clear about the friendships left behind….but we do trust in The Lord, and are obedient. Starting a new year of homeschooling without the support we had grown to depend on is disheartening. The kids are having a tough time adjusting as well. All this combined makes for a tough time starting school again in the fall.
What a great post! Ours has been a combination of it being our first year- and having trouble finding our “groove”, and I “just” had our third baby last summer (he’s one now, so it will be interesting learning how to “do school” with a toddler! I would imagine there is always going to be some new challenge.) This was so encouraging- and good to know I’m not the only one who has felt inadequate! 🙂
Thank-you for sharing! It is so true! I recently shared a post about why this year DIDN’T work out well for us, and why I am OK with it because I know God’s direction for us and know to keep my eyes on Him. We really need to remember that. Thank-you for the great reminder!
These are some really great thoughts, and I’m glad you wrote them. So often we beat ourselves up over what we perceive as a total failure on our part. But God is in control and has a purpose in everything that comes our way. Thanks for being so transparent – it’s a blessing to hear from ‘real’ moms! 🙂
Great article! So important not to just throw in the homeschool towel. Great advice, and very inspiring. Thanks for writing. 🙂
Thank you for sharing. This is our first homeschool year coming up and we might possibly be moving. My husbands job takes him all over and while I have resisted the urge to move over the last 3 years I have let go and let God…..I am working on being the submissive wife and letting the hubby pray and make the decisions and follow. I decided that it’s not my responsibility to make those heart heavy decisions and that it’s more important to follow Gods will and plan and I am letting the hubby do the job and carry the burden. I still am fighting the urge to move though so I don’t know how you managed to move so many times. How do your children handle it? That’s my biggest concern is our kiddos.
So true! This was definitely OUR year too. I appreciate the reminder that God is in the weird years too!
Haha! Was this written for me? A few years ago my husband lost his job, then I was pregnant and we had to move, 3x in one year. School was tough that year for sure. Last year I was pregnant with my 5th child, due when school was supposed to start (just like you said), and this year, my husband lost his job again! As of right now, the middle of July, the kids are technically not quite finished with last years schooling and I am trying to plan for next year. Geez, does life ever like to get in the way!
Great post! Definitely…stick to the basics, prioritize and let go of the guilt! Learning is so much more than “school.” I’m trying to be more relaxed this year and trying to make my home and life a constant place of learning.
This is a super post! I’d like to also add (having several wonderful friends who teach in both public and private schools) that they also have days/weeks/months and years that they look back on feeling like it was a bust. Plans that were made but not fully executed, fun enrichment delayed due to budget cuts etc. Even watching way more classroom movies than they were hoping, due to coping with disciplinary issues in the classroom. So I’m thinking that if you are called to educate your child at home don’t beat yourself up for not being perfect on everything as I don’t know a single teacher or system that is perfect. If His grace is truly sufficient for us we can rest in that and homeschool on!
Thank you Kim! Writing this post was a good reminder to myself as well!
So true Katherine! No one’s year is a total bust – that’s way we need to look for the good things like your mentioned, even though it may be difficult, they are there! Thanks for reading!
Oh Amy, I’m sorry to hear about your husband and son, but praising God that He has taken care of it all for you! One of the beauties of homeschooling is that we can continue on through the summer (we are catching up right along with you)!
Those pesky homeschool regulations can be such a thorn in my side too! I often have to remind myself that I’m schooling my children for God’s glory, not for the state. I try my best to keep those thoughts in check and to balance everything I need to get done, knowing that God is in control and He is my strength in this journey. More breaks throughout the year is a good idea – I’m hoping to implement that this year!
I’m so glad this encouraged you Jacque! This is what my hope was for writing this – to let others know they are not alone and that your school year doesn’t have to be perfect and go according to plan for it to be successful! It can be so hard when family and friends are questioning your decision to homeschool especially when they are trying to prove that your decision is wrong! Stick to your guns and rely on the Lord for strength – you’ve got this!!!
I was going to say that this was just for me, but obviously a lot of other people got so much from it as well. I had what seemed like a terrible year last year. We moved, had a death in the family, were dealing with illness, curriculum I couldn’t get to work for us, and it was my son’s first grade year with of course all eyes on me, the homeschooler. I also have two very active, fearless toddlers, so my main priority and focus was on keeping them alive. Seriously. I’m sure lots of people have those kinds of kids too. I wasn’t sure if I actually taught my son anything last year. I am realizing that he actually learned more than I thought. Yes, I had to come to the point that I had to trust God and know that He’s not moved by what was missed last year. He loves these kids. He is the one who called me to homeschool them so how can I not trust that He will give me everything I need to raise and school and be the mom these amazing kids need me to be? Moms, GOD trusts YOU! He would not have called you to such a great responsibility if He didn’t. Pray. Do your best. And leave the rest up to God.
Oh Kayla, my heart is heavy for you! I’m lifting you up in prayer as I know this must be such a difficult transition for your family. My husband and I have had the public school talk more than I’d like to admit, but I know that is not an option for our family. Just know that this is God’s plan for your family – we might not like it or understand it now, but just stay faithful and God will reveal His works to you. Keep bringing your burdens to Him and stay faithful! Wrapping you in prayer!
Thank you Sarah & Teri. Prayers are well appreciated 🙂
I can imagine that transitioning from one schooling method to another would be quite an adjustment. Hopefully next year will be better!
I’m glad this post encouraged you Angie! I know you’ve had quite an eventful year! The beauty of homeschooling is that we can really start fresh anytime!
I’m honored to be called an “older/wiser” homeschooling mom! 😉
I hope your second year of homeschooling is a blessing!
Wow, Kristi, what a year you had! Amazing how God sees us through it all! Prayers for a less eventful school year ahead!
Becky – I’m loving reading all the comments from first year homeschoolers! I’ll be honest, it seems that for us, every year presents some kind of new challenge, some big, some not so big. But just remember that God will provide for all your needs and He is your strength. He’ll see you through anything!
Amen Emilee!!
Good for you Shannon! I’m praying for a submissive heart for you. When you submit to your husband the Lord will bless you – don’t forget that! I’m not sure how old your kids are, but younger kids (like under 10), which all mine are, are very resilient. None of our kids seemed bothered by any of our moves; we just talk about it openly and honestly with them. Sorry I don’t have much more help than that.
We haven’t finished last year’s schooling yet either, so you are not alone! I’m always telling my husband that I just want our lives to get back to normal – but lately I’m beginning to realize that this IS our normal! Hoping that next year is a little less crazy for you!