This post was written by Carlie Kercheval of Managing Your Blessings
Have you ever embarked upon a time in your life where the choice ahead of you that was once clear, has now become unclear? This typically occurs when we are changing seasons in life and can be particularly difficult when it comes to our homeschool.
Our family just moved back to the United States from a 2 ½ year assignment in Germany. As many of you may know, it is illegal for German citizens to homeschool, thus making the homeschool community very small. Most of us who homeschooled were either Active Duty military families (that’s us) or American contractors working in Germany. The bottom line? It was a very isolated experience for our children, particularly our oldest who just completed 7th grade year of homeschooling in Germany.
Now that we are living back in the United States, the area that we happen to be stationed at does not have a large community of “full-time” homeschoolers. As a matter of fact, as I have dug in, researched, and sought out information, I am coming to see that most of the homeschool families in this area do it part-time using charter schools as an umbrella.
My point? My husband and I feel like God might be calling our family’s homeschool in a different direction.
In times like these, when we feel the Lord pulling us in another direction, and the choice that was once so clear just doesn’t seem as clear as it was in the past, we submit ourselves to His will and pray.
Here are three simple ways that my husband and I always make sure not to be hasty, and to allow the Lord to deal with our hearts:
1. Lean not on your own understanding.
While this instruction that comes out of Proverbs 3:5 isn’t always easy, it definitely can be done. And the beautiful thing? In the following verse (Proverbs 3:6) it gives us the beautiful promise that if we acknowledge Him in all our ways, He will make our paths straight! Hallelujah!
2. Every time the temptation to worry arises, meditate on the Word of God.
I always tell people that there is no room for margin in this area of your life if you want to live a true life of freedom. And to help you stay accountable to this, always have this scripture readily available to see with your eyes:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
It will not only help you remember to give all of your anxieties and worries to Him as well as pray, but will also help you to attain His peace, and that is an invaluable gift.
3. Pray for wisdom.
A lot of people think this only means one thing – the answer. Well not necessarily. God gives us wisdom for many reasons that apply to many different circumstances. I know for me, I am always amazed at the variety of ways God gives wisdom. Sometimes it comes in the form of hindsight; other times it may come in the form of an encouraging Word. Perhaps it may come in the way of giving you patience. God’s wisdom and the ways it comes are limitless, so be sure not to tell God how to give you the wisdom you seek. You’ll be amazed at how clearly you will begin to hear His voice.
So for us, right now, we are following the simple steps above until we know that God has given us His definitive answer for our particular situation. We are confident that His answer will come in the perfect time that we need to hear it. Until then, we will continue to pray, meditate on His Word, and thank Him for the answer!
Are there any tough situations that you are facing right now where the answer that was once clear is not so clear any more? I’d love to pray for you! Leave a comment and I will be praying for each and every one of you – including those who do not want to make their request publicly. We are in this together, and I am here for you!
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I am so positive that home schooling is best for my kids~ but am now wavering due to a teacher I know practically BEGGING me to put my youngest in public school next year so she can be her teacher. My daughter really wants to do it and I am totally against it (but not sure why other than it just wasn’t MY plan). Now I’m just not sure what is best for my daughter. Is it God telling me through this other mom/friend/teacher that my daughter needs more than I can give her at home? Or is it a temptation I am supposed to fight through and forge ahead with what I had already planned to do? I’m very muddled about it right now!
What a reassuring post, thanks! We started our 5th year of homeschooling our eldest child this year and second year for our little girl. I’ve been contemplating on moving our eldest child to conventional school by next school year… I don’t know! Like what you said, we make choices depending on the seasons in our life. I am in that season where I want to focus on something else like practicing my profession again. I’m praying about it a lot and your tips reminded me that I really need wisdom. Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this, Carlie. God does put us in different seasons. Currently our newly-adopted 5-year-old daughter is in a Christian therapy school (20 students) because she has special therapy needs that must be addressed. The school and staff is a gift to us. After being a homeschooling mom for 19 years change is sometimes hard, but focusing on God’s plan for that season is key!
Tricia,
Bless your momma heart. Yes, you are right, while the changes God will have us to make at times can be difficult, the key is focusing on Him and the plan He has given. It is so easy to go with “what we know” and continue walking in the familiar – but when He calls us to the deep – it involves lots of hard choices to distinctly define who it is we serve! I adore you and am so grateful for your friendship 🙂
I would appreciate prayer (privately) for God’s direction in having kids. I’m currently pregnant with #6 and we have flip flopped on this subject. At one time my husband just wanted two kids. Then God laid on my heart to welcome as many kids as He gives. Through prayer, mt husband’s heart changed. Now, I’m waivering thinking after this baby we should be done. My husband, I think, would be willing to do whatever at this point. I mean, he’s not going to tell me I have to keep having kids if I’m done. I just want to not be hasty and make decisions out of wrong motives. I’m tired. I’m 36 and will be 37 when this baby comes. I just feel I’m ready to be done withis stage of life. I don’t want to have regrets though. After all we have been through to get to this point I’m surprised I am feeling this way. We’ve had 4 miscarriages along the way, too.
Thanks,
Ashley
I agree about seasons of our lives influencing our choices. I homeschooled my 18 yr old autistic son from 3rd grade until last yr when he graduated. We pulled our kinder out of public school the last 4 months of the school yr to homeschool him. It wasn’t a choice I willingly wanted to make. Sheepishly I did not want to homeschool any longer! BUT, The Lord did soften my heart to the idea! Having to hear from my son first hand the ridicule he endured and the bullying that happened in kidergarten broke our hearts…we are now successfully homeschooling him and watching the stress melt away!
Oops, forgot to mention my kinder, now 1st grade son, is autistic as well. Through prayer I began to realize my son was spending the bulk of his awake time (6 hr kindergarten day) being influenced by other adults and children! That broke my heart.
Mary, I am praying for you in this season of uncertainty. God will give you clarity when it is time to make the decision 🙂
Praying for you Jude! Yes, you are right, we need God’s wisdom in all things, particularly those times when confusion tries to enter. Praying for your clarity and peace to come soon!
Ashley,
I can so relate to your current dilemma. We lost several in between our 1st and 2nd children (including a stillborn). After the arrival of #3 I was so torn, tired, and had no idea what to do. I will certainly be praying for you and will also be thinking of you along the way. ((HUGS))!!
Bless your heart Teri. I am so happy to hear that the stress is gone. We only find our peace in the will of God and you are walking in that for your family. Have a wonderful week ahead!
Thanks for writing this Carlie! We also just returned from 3 years in Germany with the Army but our children were still preschool age so they attended a German Kindergarten, which we did love. However, when they asked about our oldest daughter starting school in America this coming fall, I would let them know we were going to be homeschooling (which we are and I’m so excited to begin) and the German teachers were quite surprised!
Hi Mary, It is difficult to know where God is leading us, especially when things that seem stumbling blocks appear on our path. Ultimately God is the author of peace not confusion and I pray for His peace to be the umpire of your heart as you work through this and keep your eyes on Him.
I can relate to what you ar saying. We have 7 children and have homeschooled for 9 years (with many ups and downs along the way). When I was having my 7th baby I felt like I needed a break from homeschooling and put 3 into school. Two of them lasted 6 months and the eldest stayed at high school until recently when we moved cities. So I am homeschooling all of the children again but have felt like I am not providing an adequate education for my eldest and she hasn’t made any friends yet as there seems to be a limited number of teens homeschooling where we live. At the momet I am in the process of revisiting scriptures and journals that I wrote when we commenced homeschooling and asking the Lord to speak to me through His word. My daughter doesn’t want to go to school for her own reasons but also is not completely satisfied with homeschooling. I’m praying for God’s insight, discernment and wisdom above all else and in the meantime am putting my whole heart into what I am doing. Praying for you also.
Carlie, Thank you for this post. It was through tears that I read it. My prayer today was for wisdom to recognize when The Lord is speaking and revealing his will. For several years, I’ve felt led to homeschool my four boys. The oldest will be in 11th, and the youngest in kindergarten. The oldest three have all attended public school. We live in a rural area of the South, the Bible belt, which is reflected by most of the teachers. And our superintendent is currently in a lawsuit for opening school board meetings with prayer and for his other open expressions of faith. We’ve had teachers who openly prayed over lunch daily. BUT we’ve had some questionable material presented, as well as, a few bad teachers. I can’t really remember when I first considered HS, but lt has always seemed alien to me to allow other, mostly unknown, people so much control over my sons’ lives. I can remember standing in the school hallway, on the first day of school, with a heavy heart hearing other moms cheering that they were “rid” of their kids. Fear and a laundry list of personal incompetences is what holds me back. I’ve prayed long and hard to know is this just me and my desire, or is it His will/call. I am SO afraid if its not His calling than I will fail. There have been so many “Godcidences” that I feel is Him speaking. I just know I have to know it is His will for our family. Only through Him and His grace will I succeed. My husband backs me with whatever decision is made; he will support me with as much help as he can give. My family is supportive. My 5th & 7th graders would be on board due to various reasons. My Kindergartener hopefully anticipates “big school”. My 11th grader might be resentful because he is the one whom I should have had the courage to pull out in 4th grade, and he is almost at the finish line. This has weighed on me for so many years. Keeping them in PS scares me if I’m going against God, but pulling them out scares me. During the school year(s), I settle into a routine but never really at peace because this is always is on my heart. I am careful to not let my kids know because I don’t want it to affect their attitudes/experiences. Please pray for me and my family that I’ll receive confirmation in such an manner that there will be no doubt. Thank you for sharing your heart, as so many homeschoolers feel HS is the only option (learned that by following the HS online community). That is why I’ve never reached out for advice. PLEASE forgive me for this long comment; I’m desperate. PS starts in two weeks so I’ve got to act soon. Blessings!
Lisa,
Hello fellow Army wife! You are more than welcome for writing this. I pray that your first year homeschooling will be nothing but God’s BEST! I am here for you if you need anything and am certainly praying for you! ((HUGS))
Tania,
Bless your heart sweet momma! Thank you for the prayer 🙂 God spoke to my husband and I a couple of week ago concerning this and we are so blessed to have His peace in this area! Praying for you as well, sweet sister. I am excited to hear about what God tells you is best for your family. Have a wonderful week!
Kim,
First off, BIG HUGE ((HUG)) to you!! I am praying for you dear one! No doubt in my heart that God will not only show you what to do, but He will give you His peace as you continue to submit to Him. It is SO obvious that you love God and love your children very much – and this my dear friend – is a huge blessing! I will continue to pray with you and for you. Please let me know what God shows you in this area of your life. And AMEN! You are so right when you say, “Only through Him and His grace will I succeed.” This is the absolute truth. And praise God for a supportive husband (my husband is my biggest fan :)) that makes all the difference in the world! And I loved your long comment! Bless you!
Thank you for this article. It really reassured my heart and encouraged me to keep leaning on The Lord for wisdom. I am about to start homeschooling my 5 year old, but he really wants to go to school where there will be lots of other kids to interact with – he is very social, and my only other child is still a toddler. I know it is the best decision right now but I still doubt myself constantly! Thank you for praying.
You are so welcome Kathryn! I am proud of you for pushing through those doubts to obey what God has said! I have a letter that I wrote to new homeschooling moms – perhaps it would encourage you? http://www.soyoucallyourselfahomeschooler.com/2012/07/03/dear-new-homeschool-mom-10-things-i-have-to-tell-you/
Many Blessings! Carlie K.