This post was written by Stef Layton of Educating Laytons
This is a post by Stef Layton of Educating Laytons.
Another bedtime. I made it. Hugh sigh of relief. Another day and miraculously we made it. I have no idea how, but I’m just thankful it’s done. It’s over. After one more request for a glass of water and this day is in the bag!
It’s been over 10 years and I’ve been able to keep up this “mother” act. They have no idea their mother is a fake. When I was supposed to be carrying that egg around for Home Economics I was skipping school for the beach. I never made that batch of cookies from scratch so I’m hoping my children think the best muffins are made from a box. (Betty Crocker, I love you).
I’m sure they’ll find me out soon because we play this game of house, but instead I feel like we’re reenacting the Titanic and I am sinking. Can’t they see the panic before lunch? The gasping for breath every afternoon?
They don’t know I’m failing at motherhood.
The list of all the areas where I’m failing rattles off in my head. Why can’t I keep their toenails clean? Why can’t I get them to flush the toilet? Why am I washing winter clothes in the summer? Why can’t I get them to eat vegetables? Why can’t I find matching shoes? Why can’t I help them keep their rooms clean?
My heart desires to be a June Cleaver for these boys, but in my frustration and sinking, I wrestle back the Mommy Dearest in me. Rather than wire hangers I want to cry, “What are Lego pieces doing on the floor when I told you no Lego pieces on the floor, ever!”
Are you there with me on the floor in a mess of tears and frustration? Do you know the sinking feeling?
Do you feel like you’re failing at motherhood?
Some nights I’m overcome with confusion, “God, will I ever get this right?” And there, with my long list of shortcomings and character flaws, God points something out to me. He wants you to see it too! Ready?
They don’t need June Cleaver.
If we were perfect June Cleavers they might not see the need for perfect Jesus. They love me. I’m the one who God has given them. He trusts me with these little hearts. He is perfecting me while I show them the need for a Savior, the living out of forgiveness and grace.
My boys get to experience the pounding out of self and a heart hungry for change. They see afternoon prayers on display, heartfelt worship, and an ongoing list of gratitude.
June Cleaver could never offer that to your kids, but you can!
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6
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This is so encouraging. Thank you!
Love this! I thought surely I was the only one who was washing winter clothes in the summer!! =) Actually, nearly everything you mentioned is something I check off my list as “failed” at the end of the day.
Thanks for the reminder to pay attention to the things that really matter.
Wonderful reminder. 🙂 Ironically right after I watched “Leave it to Beaver” with my kids and felt very inadequate seeing June Cleaver in action!
Oh this hit me right between the eyes today. Thank you 🙂
Out of everything I have read that you have written, this one I identify with the most. Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU! Although it is Caroline Ingalls that I beat myself up about not being. lol This truly blessed me today. God bless you! <3
I love this quote, “If we were perfect June Cleavers they might not see the need for perfect Jesus.” THANK YOU!
Oh my gosh, I say that line about the Lego daily to my boys! I think you really hit the nail on the head when you said, “I’m the one who God has given them.” That is so powerful!!! God trust you with your children so you should trust yourself!! Love that!
I certainly needed this. THANK YOU!!
I am so down on myself… I truly am my own worst critic.
I must remember to TRY to see myself as God sees me…. not as a failure but as his beloved child. <3
Amen, sister! I fail daily at more than you shared but….. my kids come up to me at random times and declare, “You are the best mom ever!” with laundry to be done, dinner to be served, homeschool plans to write, and a glass of wine in hand. Why, on earth would my children think i am the “best mom ever!” when i can’t even get dinner on the table at a reasonable hour?
Because……
God knows what He is doing. For whatever CRAZY reason, He knew, in His perfect plan, that I am the PERFECT mother for my kids…. What? There must be a mistake…. Nope! My Father knew, before my children were even thought of, let alone born, that I, yes, I was the perfect person for the job. Beats me, why He figured that…. but as God’s child, I know that He doesn’t make mistakes, and as hard as it may be, as far short of “good enough” that I think I am, He,THE God of the universe, felt that I (yes, me) am the best woman for the job of raising and schooling my children. So, I will praise Him for the 3 AMAZING gifts that He gave me ( my kids) and I will pledge to do my BEST, even if I don’t think it is good enough, to give my kids, my homeschool, my family to Him, and trust that HE will do what He purposed for me, my husband, my children, from the beginning of creation until now….Romans:8:28
I am on the floor with ya, girl. Maybe God Has created me wonderfully, fearfully for these kiddos. Thank you for the reminder!!!
I think that’s just about exactly how I’ve been feeling the last couple of weeks. Thanks for the encouragement.