This post is from contributor Tricia Goyer
As a wife, a mom, a sinner-saved-by-grace, and a servant of God, I have peace knowing God has a plan for my life. That He’s always had a plan. And that He’s here to guide me to His path for me. This is one of my favorite verses:
All the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day. Psalm 139:16
I look to this verse because I need the reminder that God isn’t finished with me yet. I’m thankful I’m a work-in-progress. I’m happy to put (and keep) my life in my hands. Yet, when I think of my kids’ lives, I want to be more of an active participant. I forget God has all my children’s days planned, too. For some reason I try to wrangle the responsibility out of His hands and put it into mine. I try to figure out the “best path” for my kids and then pray and ask God to help me achieve it.
Recently my husband and I started the process of adopting two children, ages two and five years old, from the foster care system. I knew that we’d have challenges, but my mind never swayed from my educational choice to homeschool them. After all, I’ve been a homeschooling mom for twenty years!
Yet right away I discovered my children’s numerous issues, due to abuse and neglect. Issues more complex than I could handle. I knew how to be a mom (even a homeschooling mom), but they needed help with behavior, speech, and occupational and speech therapy. Within a few weeks I realized I needed help outside our home . . . lots of it!
With the help of our social worker, my husband and I looked around and found the best resources for our new kids. Both of my children have amazing therapists who work with me on bonding and caring for these children with past issues. My two-year-old is in an awesome preschool that provides all the therapies he needs in one place. We’ve seen him blossom. And from word-of-mouth we heard about an amazing private, Christian therapy school that is exactly what our five-year-old needs.
I have to admit there are moments when I feel like a traitor for still calling myself a “homeschooling” mom, especially when two out of three of my kids who are still “homeschooling age” are away from the home for a large part of the day. But God has reminded me that this is part of His plan . . . even when it wasn’t part of mine. He knew before they were born what they would need in order to heal. He knew the people who would help them and guide them. He brought co-laborers to help me with the process.
My goal is for these children to find healing and for us to come to the place where we can be a happy, healthy, and thriving homeschooling family. But for now, God is showing me that sometimes being the best “homeschooling” mom means finding the right help for my children in this season of our lives.
Homeschooling should never be a label we wear to the sacrifice of our children’s needs.
It’s about finding God’s plan for our children’s lives and helping them thrive within it. I needed the reminder that God isn’t finished with my children yet. I’m thankful they are works-in-progress. And I’m learning to happily put (and keep) their lives in His hands.
Latest posts by Tricia Goyer (see all)
- Worldview Training: The Most Important Part of Your Curriculum - February 21, 2018
- Free (and unexpected!) Library Resources for Homeschoolers - December 4, 2017
- A WWII Christmas: Food Rationing and Recipes in World War II {Part One} - December 12, 2014
- How to Homeschool Adopted Kids - October 16, 2014
- I Choose Faithfulness in Homeschooling - March 14, 2014
Thank you. That helped me today! (said through tears…)
This post was a blessing–well said!
thank you for this. i just read your devotional yesterday about your husband marrying trouble (laughed so hard! “God written” stories are always so beautiful!) anyhow, i am struggling with some of my biological children due to factors beyond my control…. and i’m fighting desperately to do what i feel called to but at some point, i have to let go and know that even if life plays out in a way that isn’t His ideal will, He is still in control and He promises to make beauty from ashes and to restore what the locusts have eaten…. thank you for reminding me 🙂
I love this post! I will be homeschooling my 3 year old for preschool and he has a developmental delay, and I am nervous about it! I have to ask, what version of the Bible is that verse in? It is much more descriptive than the NIV.
Thank you for this post, Tricia. I think the same could be said about the family’s needs, or the mom’s needs. When homeschooling is working well for everyone in the family, it is a FANTASTIC choice. But when something changes — when a shift is needed to better meet the needs of the family or an individual in the family — it is OK. It doesn’t mean or signify failure in any way. It represents wisdom and grace.
I am a foster/adoptive mom who thoroughly believes in homeschooling. Our first adoptee I brought home in her 8th grade year, just a couple of months after the adoption was final. We agreed to let her do her senior year at the nearby high school because she really craved the social piece of public school and senior year has the best of that. I now have a 14 yr old whose adoption was finalized last November, but we do not have enough of a relationship and he does not have any intrinsic motivation to work for the sake of learning. He will start his freshman year at the high school. We will see what happens. After much searching, I have made peace with the reality that I cannot be qualified to deal with my 5 yr old’s mental illness without God working through me, but that is what He says is best for this little boy. So we are doing one of each. All that really matters is focusing on God, and resting (as much as we can rest) there.
This post could not have come at a better time! I am just today drafting a letter to my local elementary school to ask for help getting an IEP done for my child who has been homeschooling for two years. After recent testing, I have become aware of problems that do require specialized help, because my child was an extreme premie, of only 1 1/2 lbs. He has been struggling in a visual arena I had no knowledge of. I would love for him to catch up as much as possible, and know I’m not the best teacher in this area. If I have to put him in school for a year or two to help him, I’ll be glad to!
THANK YOU!!!! We have 4 wounded children we adopted through foster care. 3 of them are in school now receiving the help that they need. We have been ostracized by May people in the homeschooling community because of our decision, even though we still homeschool 5 other children. THANK you for this. You greatly encouraged my heart…
You’re welcome Kimberly!
Thank you!
Things never turn out like we plan, do they? But when we seek God, trust Him, and ask Him to guide us He will never fail us!
It’s The Message version. Also, your care and concern will go far … and ask God to bring the right people into your life to help you!
God has reminded me that I need to look to HIM first. Change comes so I don’t get too comfortable–so that I’m reminded that I need Him in all things, not my ideals. My goal is to homeschool full-time in the future, but I’m trusting God in each day!
Lynn, God will direct you if you seek Him … and it sounds as if you are!
I’ve been amazed (and humbled) but the help professionals give. Their guidance has helped me be a better mom and be able to meet my kids’ unique needs.
God knows your heart, Laurie! He knows that you are seeking Him and seeking help. I pray for healing among the homeschooling community, too. We need to love and support each other first!
Thank you for such a wonderful post! We are just beginning our homeschooling journey at this very moment as my daughter starts Kindergarten. It is so exciting to follow God’s calling on our lives in this way. Your post touched my heart because my daughter is also in speech therapy. She is well above her age academically, but just needed that extra help with speech that someone with extensive training in that area has provided. We have been so blessed for her to have these weekly sessions, and she has blossomed in her speech so extensively, the therapist has even remarked how wonderfully she is doing. Yes indeed… being the best mom is about finding the best avenue to meet our children’s needs for this time!
Yes, you’re right. There are times we need professional help. I’m so thankful for those who help us on our journey!
I love this. I’m not a homeschooling mom, but I love your demonstration of grace and obedience. Sometimes our plans have to shift and we need to trust God.
I have been a stay at home mom for over three years now and have two beautiful children. I have been in a very abusive relationship (mostly verbal and emotional but at times physical) with my husband throughout that time, and even before we had the children. Thanks to a very recent physical incident I have finally had the courage to leave and have felt a “release” from my comitment between him the Lord. I have been homeschooling my oldest (who is preschool age) for the past few years and was readying to go more in-depth but since the latest incident, have had to physically seperate myself and my children from my husband. I am looking for work again as I am not going to wait on my husband to do the right thing and take care of his children and to provide for myself. I appreciated the article and I am writing because I wondered if anyone else has been through a similar situation and is or has continued to homeschool their children while being a single mom and working, as I GREATLY desire to. I want my children to be able to meet with other homeschool groups and to receive some form of help (not sure of “therapy” per say) to cope with this major transition soon but as of now we do not even have a car. Any suggestions on how to help children through this type of family transition? Thank you! 🙂