This post is from contributor, Daniele Evans
Our family has been on this homeschooling journey for around 12 years now. We’re definitely not veterans or even close to the finish line (the youngest is 4!), but I’m growing and learning all the time.
One thing I’ve noticed is how often the success of home-based education is compared to our school-attending counterparts. Homeschoolers do rank top of the list for sure.
We outscore on standardized tests, colleges are opening wide their doors to us, and the individualized approach to education is being widely applauded. I don’t have sources for you, but simply Google any of this to find dozens of articles.
Homeschoolers ROCK.
Yet for the Christian homeschooler…we must also add in another standard of measurement, for we belong to another system of thinking altogether. We belong to the kingdom of God. Therefore, His ways are the measuring stick to base our success upon.
It would be a huge mistake to make homeschooling all about education and academics.
Before I unpack this some, please understand I am not against the pursuit of college, higher education or academics. Our children score incredibly well on their state-mandated tests; my husband and I hold college degrees and advanced degrees. There is room for intellectual goals in homeschooling!
The mistake though, would be to put these goals in place of, or in front of, what this time with our children is really all about.
Relationships – this is the focus. I believe this is what we’re really doing, or should be doing.
Whether intentionally or not, we’re teaching our children how to relate to God, to other family members, to themselves, to the world and people around them. In reality, this is what public or private education is trying to accomplish as well.
I call it educating for life ( affiliate links – based somewhat on the books Upgrade by Kevin Swanson and I Saw the Angel in the Marble by Ellyn Davis) — being focused on relationships as a base and standard for our educational goals.
Our children:
- need to believe in and learn to understand their God and His ways
- should grow in understanding of who they are, how God wired them, and why they’re here
- must learn how to honor God and serve others with their gifts, talents and abilities (which will include academics and studying!)
- should grow in their love and respect for their family, their church community, etc.
- need to be prepared to take on the roles of leader, helpmeet, mother, and father
…and much more!
See how all of these are first based on a particular relationship?
:
I know we need to take care of the nuts and bolts — evaluating curriculums and programs, setting up workable schedules, planning for little ones, deciding whether or not to participate in co-op….and a lot more.
I know. Additionally, I do think academics play a role in the training and building up of our children.
Just a reminder today, Christian Mama or Dad, to also include a significant focus on helping your child succeed at important relationships and/or be prepared to succeed at them.
It would be a mistake not to…
**UPDATE – I mentioned this in the comments, but Apologia offers a worldview book series addressing most of these relational topics. They are super excellent, I highly recommend them! I wrote a review on Book 2 Who am I? and What am I Doing Here? if you’d like to take a look.**
Latest posts by Daniele Evans (see all)
- 5 Tips for Decluttering Your Daily Routine {or, tips to help keep Mama sane} - January 24, 2018
- The Only Homeschool Room You Need is In Your Heart - October 15, 2015
- Homeschooling Mom, You Need Balcony People - October 3, 2013
- One BIG Mistake Christian Homeschoolers Should Avoid - September 6, 2013
- Ease Up Homeschool Stress - August 9, 2013
This was so encouraging to me today! It’s only our second year homeschooling and it’s so easy to lose focus on what really matter! Thank you!
I totally agree with this article!! Someone pointed out years ago that, if she had to choose between well-educated children and children who love God and others, she’d choose the children that love God and others. I had never really thought about it before that, but she’s totally right! Of course we do teach academics, and we should do that. But it’s not the main reason we homeschool.
Oh, Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this! Not only has it been in my heart, but also I needed to hear others feel the same. Beautifully said also! Thank you again!
It’s hard to know where to start, how to add this in, how to talk to a six year old who God really is and how to try and be obedient to the word and follow in Jesus footsteps. I’m a first time homeschooling and I feel like I am failing in this department because I don’t know where to start or get on a six year olds level. I need some sort of curriculum for myself, a guide, suggestions because I am five years into the faith and just now trying to not just know the word but understand the word. I know we aren’t ever qualified but I don’t feel like I know enough and I definitely don’t know where to start.
Exactly! We’ve been concentrating on relationship building these last 2 years. Building a relationship with God and with each other. It’s so easy to get caught up in all the academics and not having time to focus on character and relationships. There are some days where we just put the academics away and just focus on our relationships through family time. We need to build strong families and strong future leaders.
Well said! I’m sharing this on my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/MosaicHomeschool
You are welcome Sarah — Congrats on year #2!
Exactly Wendy! We have to keep those important relationships in mind and have them guide us. Grace to you…
You are welcome Marlita – I agree, it’s such a blessing to know others stand for the same values. A blessed homeschool year to you…
Blessings Ashlee…and I can relate to feeling unprepared (and not equipped) for the HUGE job of mothering! Hats off to you however, because you have a desire to grow, and the Lord can work with that.
Have you read any of Sally Clarkson’s books? – The Ministry of Motherhood for example. If you can get your hands on a copy, it may be helpful to your journey and will give many pointers. If you’re connected with a local church or homeschool co-op, ask your leaders for assistance…don’t be shy!
You CAN do this, and God is for you. We all come into parenting with weaknesses, so you’re in great company. Let us know if we can offer any more support.
I hear ya Marci — putting away the books sometimes. I agree, it’s that important. Thanks for the comment!
Thanks Cindy!
Thank you for the sweet reminder of the importance of homeschool is the heart and relationships of my children. I think the new school year has my focus more on work and I definitely needed to hear this.
http://www.thehealthyandfithomeschoolmom.com
Thanks so much for this great reminder. 🙂
Thanks Daniele! This is what the Lord has been teaching me & I couldn’t agree more! Thanks for the reminder & encouragement! How sweet to know there are like-minded momma’s! God bless you & your family!
Thanks for the support! I haven’t read anything by her but will look into it asap!
I could NOT agree with you any more! This is exactly why our every school day begins with some serious Devotion. We read Devotions, pray together, and have discussions that often end up taking up half the morning. They get DEEP, and they often go all different directions, but it’s all good! We always have abetter day because of it. We always get to the academics, and they are important. But what we put first, and what we put into it, will always have the biggest impact on our children, and God-willing who they grow up and CHOOSE to be. The prayer is always….to be just who God created them to be.
Thanks for this great reminder.
Thank you for this!! I am hoping to make steps in this direction this year. Your reminder is quite timely!
Thank you for this! I am printing this out and putting it in my school planner, and I’m going to share with my fellow homeschooling moms/families. Thank you and God bless you!
Ashlee I believe this link will be a blessing to you and your child. http://www.childtrainingbible.com
This is $14 including shipping for a way to have answers to those everday situations/questions you encounter as a Christian, wife, momma & teacher. The following is a description from their website:
The Child Training Bible is tool that allows parents and children (and anyone that loves the Word of God) to go directly to the pages of Scripture for instruction in 20 key areas with a complete section dedicated to the gospel.
The CTB was designed with Colossians 3:9-10 in mind. “You have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self.” The Scriptures selected for the CTB teach why we are to “put off” certain behavior and what godly behavior we are to “put on” instead.
The front key of the CTB is a visual index of the areas that Scripture teaches us to “put off.” These areas correspond to color-coded tabs and highlighted text. CTB Scriptures address both negative and positive responses with the emphasis on Jesus Himself, His perfect life as an example and gift to us.
To make a Child Training Bible you will use the CTB charts that include over 200 Scripture references, heart and gospel questions, and sample prayers.
Make a CTB for your family to have Scripture accessible and central in your home.
The Child Training Bible is also a perfect project for homeschool groups, moms clubs, and church groups.
I hope this is a blessing to you!
Thank you for this article! This is our focus in our home and it is so needed. Putting our relationship with God first, and letting Him affect our relationships with each other in our home, as we seek to do all things for His glory and not unto men. It isn’t always easy to put academics and chores after time with our Heavenly Father, but He sure blesses our days when we do. Thank you for the encouraging reminder to keep our focus on the reason we homeschool. Relationships.
The Lord has been showing me just how true your words are. The more I look around, the less I see Christian homeschoolers having this focus. Sometimes I feel so alone in this so it is a blessing to find others who feel similarly. Pray that I will run this race well in a way pleasing to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!
Thanks Valerie – I’ve seen this resource and friends say it is excellent!
Also, I should mention that Apologia’s worldview book series addresses the topics of Who is God?, Who am I, and what am I Doing Here? and Who is My Neighbor? — we’ve used these and they are super for teaching our children about these relationships!! Even my 7 yr old was able to understand. I highly recommend them.
Prayed for you Victoria! Be encouraged, and keep doing sowing seeds! 🙂
Grace…
THANK YOU everyone for your kind words! May we all keep focused, diligent and be strengthened to do this big, big job of homeschooling and mothering. God bless each of your homes….
That would be ‘keep sowing seeds’….not sure where I was going with the ‘doing’? lol.
Thank you for the encouraging words. Typo forgiven! Lol
Hello Ms. Evans! I am pleased to see that you are an African-American homeschooler. I am too. I have been homeschooling for 5 years and I have thought about your comments and those of your readers and would like to add my own. I applaud you for mentioning higher education in your article. While I am a Christian, I did not homeschool for religious reasons. I did so due to the almost manic like preoccupation that my state has with high stakes testing in public schools. We withdrew our children because we felt having a 6-year-old cry on the way to school and say that her stomach hurt on test day was not for us. Additionally, I think in the homeschool movement we set up an interesting dichotomy in that we choose service to God over education–namely higher education. My question is why can’t we do both? I am a retired college professor and it seems to me that some in the homeschool movement unfairly categorize some non-Christian colleges and the people that teach in them as anti-God. Well, I was not. In fact, I made sure that He carried me through each class and lecture.
I think some of us in the homeschool movement do a disservice to our children by “educating” our boys and “training” our girls in some cases to be mothers without encouraging them to get a degree or technical training. In the 21st century, I am not sure how Christians or non-Christians for that matter can survive economically and raise a family if they don’t have some kind of higher education or technical training. Just last night, I was listening to a CD recording of our state’s homeschool association meeting this past May and one presenter stated emphatically that she told her daughters not to consider college–to consider motherhood and children. Ironically, the presenter was a woman who held a degree in neurobiological science! First, I thought what gifts God had given her to understand the complex and fascinating world of science. Second, the presenter had taught at Christian schools and yet she while stating what she desired for her children in my opinion was not equipping her children–daughters–for the realities of modern life.
I know for my daughters and son, higher education is just another step they will take in school (even if they considered the military) because as my husband and I do character and kingdom building with them daily as we homeschool, we also want them to use their God given talents to fulfill their dreams and love God with their hearts, souls and minds.
Hi LT,
Thanks for writing in with your thoughts! And I agree, it’s great to connect with another African-American homeschooler (we do seem to be a rare breed..lol).
In response to your thoughts, I offer a few of my own: I think we do a disservice to our children by having preconceived ideas of what God may be up to in their lives. So, I hope to keep an open heart and an open ear to listen for His Spirit’s lead….whatever my children need to fulfill their God-breathed calling, that’s exactly what I want to prepare them for!
I may not know what their futures will hold, it’s unknown to me. But, I do understand enough about God to know He is HUGE on relationships – it’s the cornerstone of creation, of salvation and most of the NT is focused on how to do relationships well. I’m passionate about encouraging Christian homeschooling families (including my own brood) to keep this central.
But no, I do not think we need to choose one or the other (education/academics vs. relationships). I do think we need to keep the relationships described in my post of primary focus. We can do so while also training up our children for the tasks they’re commissioned to do here on earth – to use their gifts, talents and abilities for the glory of God (even if that’s neurobiological science! :)). Both have eternal value….
Grace to your homeschooling journey! May you be abundantly blessed.
Thanks for the timely reminder. Perfect going into a new year.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. God led us to homeschool for so much more than reading and math. Our children are not only being prepared for a college or career, but for eternity. It is a blessing!
Thank you for this reminder! It is so easy to get caught up in the details that you forget the ultimate goals we are trying to strive for. I need to be reminded of this often. Thanks!
Thank you so much for this reminder!!
Thank you for this…such a great reminder as we all try to fit in what we believe is crucial to the education of our children. I am a single mom to my grandson, Israel, who I adopted in 2011 (he’s 8 1/2 an lived with me since he was one year back in 2007). I desperate;y want to raise him up as a man after God’s heart – he’s an amazing young man now. If it’s okay, I just want to ask for prayer (since this is a Christian based and written article). This is year four of homeschooling for us ad we begin “3rd grade”. This fall and for probably the next three to four years, I am forced to work outside of the home 8-10 hours a day. I am desperately trying to figure out to do it all and do it right. Honestly, I’m a scared and overwhelmed. Prayers are appreciated as are suggestions to move us toward success, Thank you and God Bless!