This post was written by Wendy Woerner of Your One Tree
Over the last months I have been in a “season” of realization.
I’ve realized that I once again ran ahead of God with some things. He gave me a word for the year, way back in December, the word surrender. I still chose, though not consciously, to run ahead of Him and His plans for me. This left me feeling overwhelmed, as if drowning in responsibilities. God soon led me to reduce some of my work responsibilities and to once again focus on what He has for me, which at this time is my children, husband, and ministry opportunities.
It begins with learning how to say the word NO. I don’t know how it is for you, but this can be very difficult for me. I have always been a people-pleaser, a “yes man” kind of person. I like to help people. And honestly, I like to feel important. Don’t we all? However, these are not good reasons to say “yes” if we will be saying “no” to something else that God has for us in the process.
How can we say no in order to say yes? The following points may help you understand a bit better how this might work.
- Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Once you have agreed to do something, you need to keep your word. The Bible is clear on this. James 5:12 says, “My Christian brothers, do not swear. Do not use heaven or earth or anything else to swear by. If you mean yes, say yes. If you mean no, say no. You will be guilty for saying anything more.” Often it becomes difficult to do so, and I will admit that I have not always done this. I have come to realize that in order to be able to be successful in this, I must carefully weigh beforehand what it is I am saying yes to.
- When you say yes to one thing you are always saying no to something else. A pastor and long-time friend said this to my husband and me years ago when he was counseling us. I have remembered it over the years, though I have not always heeded his advice. I am learning more and more the wisdom in his words. Something may be good and worthy to be done, but that does not mean that God meant for me to do it. When I say yes to all sorts of things, I am very often saying no to my children, my husband, and other ministry opportunities that are before me. I need to find out what God’s plan is in everything.
- Be still before God. How can I know God’s plan if I am not still before Him, in prayer and waiting for His answer? When I neglect to pray about an issue or opportunity and I run on ahead with my own ideas, I am then working in my own power. I will not succeed in pointing others back to Him if I am running my life without Him! I must work each day to be in God’s word and asking for His guidance in all that I do.
- Act in obedience. Once you know what God expects of you, obey Him. This is tough! We are so prone to talk ourselves into (or out of) things, or to let others sway us in our decisions, even after we know we heard from God! I am guilty of this myself. I have had the opportunity, three times over the last couple of months, to practice doing this. It was not easy to say no. I wanted to take the job. I wanted to help the friend. I wanted to enjoy the notoriety of a certain position. However, I knew that God had been speaking to me. I also knew, because of past times when I had not been obedient, how difficult life could become if I acted in disobedience.
I am learning to say “no” in order to say “yes’ to my family and to God. And I am resting in my life verse, which I’ve added below for you.
Jeremiah 29:11 “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for well-being and not for trouble, to give you a future and a hope.'”
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This came at a very good time for me. With 2 small children I struggle between wanting to do for others and keeping my time with my family special. I volunteered before my children were born and it is hard for me to set that asside . However, I will be able to again when they are grown.
Thank You
Linda, I’m so glad this is helpful to you! Even though I wrote this post it came at exactly the right time for me, as well! I have some decisions to make, and reading this post again has helped me to remember yet again what my priorities are. Funny how God uses my own writings to teach me over and over again! Yes, seasons come and go, and I’m so happy you are able to see and rest in that truth!
LOVE this post!!!! As a minister’s wife, it is often difficult to say “no” to people – especially at church. But, as I have felt more and more attacks from the evil one to deter me from my family, I also realized the importance of saying no. Great tips and reminders!!! Thank you so much!!!
Blessings,
Annette
” I’ve realized that I once again ran ahead of God with some things”. Wow, that knocked me off my feet. Although I understand the post was not necessarily meant to be taken the way I did. Truth be told I stopped reading after that line, it was all I needed. I, we, my husband and I, jumped waaaaaay ahead of The Lord when he lost his job and have made a terrible mistake. Instead of seeing the glorious plans The Lord had in store, we ran away from it. We ran all the way across the country. Now, we are paying the price. Thank you for such a powerful sentence.
Wendy I’ve had to start saying No a lot in the last month or two. But as I have been deleting things from my to-do list and our calendar I have more time to focus on my boys and for myself 🙂
I’m learning how to say no too. It’s not easy! I especially hate feeling as though I’m letting other people down, and feeling as though they are looking down on me because I won’t do what they want me to do. But, I have to keep my priorities straight, whether other people approve or not! Thank you for sharing this! It was a good reminder at the time of year when I feel most pressured to add more to my plate then I can handle.
Annette, thank you! I am so happy it was an encouragement to you. I’m considering posting them on my desk, in plain view as I work at my computer, so I can see them daily and be reminded.
We’ve been there, too. We knew almost immediately that our decision was the wrong one. However, it helped us to wait on God’s timing the next time. It was difficult! However, we have been in our new location for just over a year and love it! We have received so many blessings, and we feel it is because we waited for God’s clear direction this time. I encourage you to do the same. God is always with us. He will walk with you through whatever your struggles are and bring you out whole and in Him on the other side!
Yes, and that is the hope. Since I have said no to some things, other opportunities that I do feel God leading me to do have come around. And is also allowing for time to spend with hubby and children, while forcing me to get more organized and manage my time better!
It’s a constant process, I think. God is always teaching and reteaching me to listen to His leading.
After I had a period of self-doubt this morning God spoke the words to Jeremiah 29:11 into my heart. As I was closing down numerous webpages with Youtube clips I had been looking at to research music for our singing group and closed an enormous amount of Word documents with lyrics and Powerpoint presentations with homeschool projects and Birthday photos I realised my life is like this… too many folders open.
I could have written this myself. This was wonderful, and it came at a time in my life when I am hearing loud and clear from God that this is the message I need to grasp. Thank you!
Yes, that is a great way to describe life sometimes, Monique! Too many folders open. I think as moms and homeschool moms it is a common problem, we balance so many different things. Remembering His plan for us, and that He has a plan, really helps me too, when determining which ‘folders’ need to be opened or closed!
Oh, I’m so glad, Tina! Confirmation of what God is saying to us is so encouraging. I’m thankful this was a message you needed!