This post is from contributor Jenn Hoskins
Weariness is a word I fear saying just because I don’t want it to attack me! It’s one of the greatest struggles I have as a mother.
Recently, I had a conversation with another weary mom. She had just had her second baby, just a few days old, who we were cooing over. I was with my best friend, whose five children were playing with my six children by the pool. Two moms and eleven kids is pretty much our normal world, but when we are around others it’s a number that seems overwhelming.
I watched this sweet mom’s countenance sink as the moments went on and she watched us handle more than what was on her plate, without feeling like we were going to break. She finally gained the courage to say, “How do you do it? I feel like I will never sleep again. I’m exhausted. Just my two are so much.”
My heart melted. Oh honey, I hear you!
My mind raced back to “just two” which felt like “just a million!” I was just like her. I knew what I wanted and it was solid rest, decent order and simple joy. Instead, I had total exhaustion, barely managed craziness and a pile of stuff which was on top of another pile of stuff which was next to another pile. Yes, life at its messiest. Going back in my memory, I tried to think of what I could tell the 23-year-old me with two babies, a full plate and a lingering feeling of failure.
Life with any number of children, all age five and under, is parenting at its most difficult.
I joke that children’s brains start to grow in around five. Up until that brain growth, you fully think for them and meet all of their needs; what they wear, eat, do, go, etc. is all in your hands! There are lots of expectations you had clung to and many are now drowning in a sea of fishy crackers.
Here is the truth I wish I had known then–Let your expectations go and enjoy your children!
From that baby smell to that toddler saying “mama” topped off with the sweet fact that you make every booboo better, you’re their whole, amazing world. From how they hold your hand to how they love to nurse to sleep–treasure all of it because it will be gone in the blink of an eye. Those cute baby toes soon turn into giant boy feet you wouldn’t dream of cooing over! Trust me on that!
Our expectations often become our enemies. Our feeling of weariness is because we have put ourselves up against someone or some ideal we perceive to be better. Comparisons steal joy faster than a grave robber in an Egyptian pyramid. We become captivated by another’s precious jewels of peace, order and joy, which can create discontentment that breaks our spirit. It makes us lose focus of the goal, which is shepherding our children to the feet of Jesus.
So how do we refocus? It’s as easy as one verse.
2 Corinithians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
His grace is sufficient, always. When I had two children His grace was sufficient for my two, but I would never have been able to handle six then! Now with six, I wouldn’t be able to handle eight or ten. God bridges the gap between what we can handle on our own and what He gives us, when He gives it to us, no sooner and no later. This creates a beautiful way for us to rely fully on Him and Him alone. If we could handle it on our own then what is the point?
God deeply desires all of us, including our weaknesses, imperfections and struggles so that He can hold us up, push us forward and work through us.
No matter where you are today, God’s amazing grace is sufficient. Abandon your expectations to Him. Let Him work through your beautiful hands, the ones that He created for great purpose: to serve the precious souls He has placed purposefully in your home. No matter if you have two, six or twelve children, God is bridging your gap through His grace. Stop comparing your apples to someone else’s oranges.
Know that the weariness you’re struggling with is but a moment in time. It will pass and God’s grace will refill, refuel and encourage you to keep running the race.
Latest posts by Jenn Hoskins (see all)
- Confessions of a Recovering Curriculum Hoarder - February 28, 2018
- Igniting the Spirit of Adventure in Your Homeschool Using Missionary Stories - March 27, 2017
- How to Have Your Children Take Music Lessons for Free - August 14, 2014
- The Family that Serves Together Stays Together {including Family Service Project Ideas!} - July 10, 2014
- The Tale of Two Towers - June 16, 2014
Thankyou. I have four special kids, and today was one of ‘those’ days (when you ask Him what He was thinking, letting you have any kids at all?!?). I can’t do this, but He can. He wants to, He will. Praise the King!
Beautifully said! Thank you for the verse – I’m praying over that one today and will put it up somewhere I can see it every day!!
wow! I am so glad that i am not alone in feeling overwhelmed at times. I struggle to give it over to Him. Thank you for sharing. That verse is going up for me to keep me focused!!
This article is what I needed to hear. I battle the regret if not applying this. So, I will not look back, but look at Him……just for today……one step at a time. I think I get most weary when I try to solve ALL the problems I have taken the enemies bait on, aka worry. I keep declaring that I will not worry, but trust In Him instead. I have fallen in this arena many many times. But He pulls me back up with his grace filled hands. O how I love Our Saviour! We truly are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus. What truth is he speaking to you today?
Lately these posts have really hit home.. sometimes i feel like i was the only one struggling to keep it together on a daily basis. Im 23 with 3 kids under 5 and expecting #4, and i feel like i will never get it right. This is what i needed today, as well as “They dont need june clever”, that one hit home as well. Thank you ladies for your amazing and encouraging words and may God continue to bless you!
Oh Louise, I am so glad this post found you on one of ‘those’ days! ‘Those’ days are so hard and we all have them! I am always thankful when God sends me something to keep me going on those days! I pray tomorrow you have a blessed day. You CAN do this! Don’t let the devil lie to you. You ARE able but only through Him! 🙂 ~Jenn
Hanging scripture up in your home is a great idea! I have 3 verses in my closet I see everyday that encourage me! It’s the place I run to when I need a moment to reconnect with God so they speak to me every time. His Word is so powerful!
There is a great lie that other moms have it all together and we are the only ones who don’t! I remember a woman I greatly look up to posted about her children fighting bedtime one night. I was floored! Her? Not perfect? But she wrote books! It was a great reminder that we all get overwhelmed. You are not alone!
Some days truly are one step at a time! I have been overwhelmed lately too. I just had my youngest in the hospital for 4 days and feel like I will never catch up now that I am home. It’s so frustrating that I am barely praising God about her being healthy yet I am whining to Him about how much I have to do. We can get so tunnel visioned! So thankful for His grace!
I am so thankful the Lord allowed you to be encouraged through this! Want to know a secret? You will never get it right…. but you will always have Him to help you along the way! If we weren’t fully dependent on Him we would forget to keep Him in everything we do. He loves to help us. He loves to show us through this amazing world He created. He loves to show us little things we would often miss if everything went smoothly. Somehow, He works perfectly in the chaos of mommyhood. You are doing a good job, momma! 🙂
Oh what wonderful words for every mother’s heart! I linked to your post today because God was saying very similar things to me. Being worn out is something all mother’s can certainly relate to. It is so easy to get overwhelmed and feel like we can’t do it all because we can’t. He is the source of our strength, and He has given us these little people who are both the source and drain of our energy all in one. Thanks for the post!