This post is from monthly contributor, Jenn Hoskins
As we educate our children at home, there is a battle every single one of us will face.
Simply put, it’s the Jones’.
We all know them. At minimum, we read about them. They have it all together. They have the best curriculum. They can afford all of the activities. They do every single science lab. They pray 3 times a day as a family with no one whining, complaining, or drifting off into their imaginations. Oh, Jones’, how DO you do it?
I am thinking Mrs. Jones is holding out on you and I with a big secret…what we see and what they do are two very different things!
The Jones’ do not exist. If you know “that” family, there is a very good chance mom and kids are robots that dad built in a grand experiment akin to the Stepford wives…except it is the Stepford homeschoolers.
We really need to stop and realize it is okay to be where we are–sinners with children who look to us for everything from food to math, and realize we are just trying to figure this whole thing out. No matter if you are brand new to homeschooling or a 3rd generation homeschooler, you are still walking out the grand experiment of life with your family. The only guarantee is that it’s going to be a wild ride.
So how do we authenticate our journey? We look to the greatest source of authenticity, the Word of God.
PURE–“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8
When we seek God, asking Him to purify us, that purity will overflow to our children. Our cup will run over onto them as we teach. What this requires, however, is transparency in our struggles. Don’t be the Stepford homeschooler and pretend it is all sunshine and roses. It’s not and we all know that! We all struggle. We need to know we are not alone.
Then we make ourselves available to others, including our children, who know where to go when they are struggling. Strive for purity.
RELIABLE–“Who among you fears the Lord? Who obeys the voice of His Servant? Who walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely upon his God.” Isaiah 50:10
A lot of our reliability as mothers is about trusting the Lord. When our children look to us to learn a subject, they trust we will do what’s best to help them learn it, even if we are struggling in teaching it. There should be no wavering in their trust of us to be FOR them, not against them. This may not be the case every time, and of course there will be trust issues from time to time as our relationship with them grows, but at the end of the day they need to know we are reliable.
The best way for me to ensure I am reliable to my children is to realize it is not about me. Ever. It is about God working through me and pouring into the precious souls He has gifted me with. I get to train and educate His children. I rely fully on Him to show me how to do this! As soon as I rely on me, it all goes downhill…fast.
TRUSTWORTHY–“The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust.” Psalm 18:2
I don’t know about you but I don’t really trust those Stepford homeschoolers. There is something fishy about them–with their perfect cookies, totally clean houses, high standards that are always met, and I won’t even go into their children’s perfect clothes from the best stores, or better yet, homemade!
There is always something off about the whole thing, and yet I desire that perfect world. It looks so clean, neat, and tidy while I clean cocoa pebbles off the floor, chair, table, and child. Gasp, I mentioned chocolate cereal goodness counting as a nutritional breakfast! Stepford homeschooler, I am not!
One thing I am, though, is trustworthy to my children. They know this because I trust fully in God. Even as I struggle, and serve nutritionally void breakfasts, I am trusting in God. They know if they come to me with a struggle I will take them straight to the throne of God. They trust me because I have proven to them that even though I am not perfect, I serve the One who is.
My 11 year-old recently came to tell me about the girl he would love to marry someday. She is actually the same girl I pray for to be his wife, though he didn’t know this. He mentioned all of the reasons she would make a wonderful wife, none of which were vain, and then we discussed how he can pray for her until God brings them together. It was a blessed conversation and one I will cherish. Not only did he discuss this in a pure and wise way, but he trusted me to help guide him, protect him, and love him through the process of his developing heart.
This is part of homeschooling. It is all of our lives, not just the textbooks. Trust in one place overflows into another.
AUTHORITATIVE–“Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves.” Romans 13:2
You are your children’s authority every day they wake up in your home.
Your home is not a democracy, it is a royal family! If you were running a ship, you would be the captain. If you were running a business, you would be the president. Remember this as you go about your days. It will always be servant leadership, but keep yourself as the leader.
Often, our hearts get in the way of our heads. We love our children and hate to see them sad, discouraged, or worse yet, angry at our choices for them. But remember, when they rebel against you they are rebelling against God. Stick with the authority God has given you in your home.
As scripture says, let your yes be yes and your no be no. This will give them comfort in your authority (though it may not always look like they are comfortable) and it will give you consistency.
This is the part of authentic homeschooling that looks messy. Maintaining the role of servant leader is something I think every mother wrestles with. How do we serve without enabling? How do we serve without just stepping in and doing it for them? Read how Jesus led and you will see what this looks like. Love unconditionally, always willing to listen, always have their best interest in the front of your mind, and always point back to God.
ROOTED–“As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, 7 rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving.” Colossians 2:6-7
Our goal as homeschooling parents is not to have Stepford-perfect, robotic lives. Our goal is to have children rooted deeply in Christ. If that is not our goal then this whole journey is pointless!
What a privilege it is to have such a messy, crazy, joyful job in this world. What a privilege it is to be on a quest to be rooted in Jesus ourselves. The living God wants an intimate part of our daily lives, knowing how un-Stepford they really are, and then wants to use it to train His children.
If I were Him, that wouldn’t be part of my grand scheme! Yet here we are, homeschooling parents whose roles go worlds beyond textbooks and straight into the depths of our children’s souls. That is what authentic homeschooling looks like.
After everything is said and done, you can have the perfectly clean home, perfect clothes, and best curriculums, and be authentic. That will not be because of what you have done but it will be the overflow of what Jesus is doing in you. On the other hand, you could be like me, with cocoa pebbles on the floor, thrift store clothes, piecemeal curriculum, and wondering how this whole thing will work out, and still be an authentic homeschooler.
The authenticity is not what you see on the outside but it is from the root of where you serve your family, the well of great authenticity…Jesus.
Latest posts by Jenn Hoskins (see all)
- Confessions of a Recovering Curriculum Hoarder - February 28, 2018
- Igniting the Spirit of Adventure in Your Homeschool Using Missionary Stories - March 27, 2017
- How to Have Your Children Take Music Lessons for Free - August 14, 2014
- The Family that Serves Together Stays Together {including Family Service Project Ideas!} - July 10, 2014
- The Tale of Two Towers - June 16, 2014
I just love this. From the heart and the will of God. Well done Jenn.