This post is from contributor Kasey Norton
I’m that awkward person who cringes in the face of large group settings. And smaller, more intimate ones. When thrust into a social situation, especially one I didn’t anticipate, I feel small and insecure. And suddenly I talk too much, laugh too loud, and smile too big. After 5 minutes, I have a pounding headache from the pressure of performing and I begin to feel nauseous and in desperate need of a nap.
Seriously, that’s me.
So imagine my surprise when I discovered my heart secretly burned to reach out to those around me. Eek! I felt betrayed. Confused. Lightheaded. I felt schizophrenic, really.
How could I shrink back in terror from putting myself out there and simultaneously desire to do exactly that?
I’m the absolute worst person to turn to in a time of struggle, grief, or despair. I never have the right words and I fumble through all the wrong ones in an attempt to blurt out something meaningful. Yet somehow, somewhere deep within, I feel a call to speak His words into bruised and hurting hearts.
And you know what I learned this weekend? I can do just that. Not because He’s suddenly healed me of my awkwardness and insecurities. (He hasn’t yet seen fit to do that.) But because His strength is revealed in the midst of my weakness.
So often I’m held back because I’m focused on self.
What will they think of me?
What if my words get jumbled and I just sound silly?
What if they mistake my intentions?
The reality is, it isn’t about me at all. And when I stop acting like it is, He can impart strength and life to my humble offerings.
A little over a year ago, I received a tearful phone call from a childhood friend. Her husband had left without warning, breaking the hearts of not only his wife but of their two children. Her world had been turned upside-down in an instant and she could barely breathe, let alone forage through the ashes of what had been her life.
The calls continued to come almost every morning between 5 and 6 am…her desperate plea for someone to whisper words of hope into her shattered world. I had nothing to offer, of that I was certain. But God did, and for nearly a month He used my clumsy attempts at encouragement to keep her putting one foot in front of the other.
I was a vessel through which He worked to wrap His arms of love around her when she thought she’d rather die than endure the heartache. I felt a bit like the donkey who was chosen to carry Jesus through Jerusalem on that bright day so long ago. Unqualified and unworthy, yet more than willing to be used.
And that is where I am today.
Still willing, though painfully aware of my unworthiness. When the call comes, either from a quiet prompting or a frantic plea, my “ministry” becomes entirely about what I’m willing to do. Where I’m willing to go. What I’m willing to say. Because like Moses who considered himself slow of speech and trusted Aaron to convey the message of his heart, I can reach out with the assurance that the Lord will attend my words.
As a busy wife and mother, I often feel too stretched to pay much attention to the needs of others. But as I’ve become more aware and intentional, I’ve begun asking God to clearly show me when He wants me to reach out, even if it takes me beyond my comfort zone.
In spite of my tendency to stammer and blush, the legacy I leave my kids really can be one of service…with hands and feet (and lips) surrendered to the will of God.
Latest posts by Kasey Norton (see all)
- Homeschooling When it Isn’t Your Gift - April 5, 2018
- Finishing Out the Homeschool Year When You are Way Behind - April 8, 2014
- When Homeschooling Means Your Kids Are Left Out - January 10, 2014
- Beholding the Beautiful - December 2, 2013
- Homeschooling: The Forgotten Subjects - September 17, 2013
Kasey – what a beautiful post. I can relate to everything you said – we should be friends 😉 I love your heart for encouraging others, God is definitely using you to encourage me! Your words resonated into the deepest insecurities of my heart, and it is the most perfect timing for what God is doing in my life. Thank you for your sharing your sweet soul with us.
I just in the past two weeks had someone ask me to pray over them. I had never done this. I didn’t have time to be nervous. I just did it. The person just wanted someone to pray. They didn’t care I wasn’t elegant or fancy.
Also, check out this Toby Mac song. It so fits: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rK6O0YtBRY
I read a lot of posts from various places, but they often do not speak to me the way this did. This post I feel was written to/for me. I am this women. I have always been this person, shy, awkward, unsure. Being around others is often a painful thing for me for reason mentioned in the article. But yet my heart cries to be able to witness to others, and I feel trapped and like a failure when I don’t. I wonder if I will ever get to that point. Thank you for this timely post. It has offered hope, encouragement, and feeling less alone in these same struggles. God bless.
Thank you for this beautiful and honest post Kasey! I often feel the same way – inadequate, afraid of what others will think. Thank you for the reminder that it’s not about me and that I need to follow the prompting of God when He wants to use me for His glory. The words may not come out as perfectly as I would hope, but God will use them and me regardless, and I have to have faith in that. I recently experienced this with my own sister – our conversation didn’t go as eloquently as I would have liked, but God was leading me to speak the Truth to her, and after I did, it felt amazing!
Loved this Kasey! It is amazing how God can work through us. I love to speak in front of large groups, but stammer and am at a complete loss for words when it comes to providing council and comfort. I find encouragement in your words to not let that stop me, but allow the Holy Spirit to speak in and through me to comfort others as needed!
This post was written just for me!! Thank you for your transparency!!! If we yield ourselves completely to Him, he will give us the abilities we need to bring Glory to His name!!! Easy to say, but not as easy to do. I appreciate you sharing this powerful testimony.
I agree with everything you say Emily! Great post!
Thank you so much, Emily and Jill! I’m humbled any time the Lord chooses to use me as a vessel of encouragement. And I’m grateful when He uses women like you to encourage me!
Exactly! We aren’t called to perform, we’re called to respond. I’m so glad to hear you chose to do just that!
Cindy, it helps to know others are working through the same struggles. So thankful that He stays the course as He does His refining work on us!
Amen! That is exactly what I mean, Sarah! He perfects our imperfections when we’re willing!
I cannot imagine speaking in front of a crowd but I’m equally intimidated when called on in a more intimate setting. Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone! Bless you as you continue to minister!
You said it so well: “If we yield ourselves completely to Him, he will give us the abilities we need to bring Glory to His name!!!” May we each allow God to do His work *in* us so that He can also do a work *through* us!
Thank you for sharing this article….it’s just what I and my husband needed to hear.
What a beautiful post! May the Lord continue to use you in all his Power 🙂