This post was written by Emily Powers of Teachable Mom-ents
Always buy curriculum.
Never buy curriculum.
Only buy used curriculum.
Just download freebies.
Absolutely NO TV.
Only educational TV.
We don’t even own a TV.
TV is the only way I get a shower.
Your child should be reading by age four.
Don’t rush reading.
Don’t use a schedule.
ALWAYS follow a schedule.
Find every opportunity to socialize your kids.
YOU are your children’s socialization.
Get involved in extra-curricular activities.
Don’t bother with extra-curricular.
Let God determine family size.
Only non-hormonal birth control.
Long skirts only.
Pants as long as they are modest…
Are you exhausted yet?
These are a just a few of the opinions that you will be faced with when you enter into the homeschooling world. These are all preferences and/or personal convictions. I am not talking about commandments that God has given – obviously there are areas in our walk with God that are simply black and white.
I am talking about the grey areas – things that are not facts or laws or rules.
And yet, we can get so caught up in it. I have been there myself, and am ashamed to admit that I have fallen into the trap of “mommy wars” and judgment. Whether you are the one who is proclaiming your stance, or the one who has felt judged for your choices…we have all been a part of this. It can be hurtful, damaging, and sinful.
God has given us clear instructions on how to approach our personal convictions.
That last part is so important. It does not say, “If anyone regards something as unclean, then it is unclean for everyone.” God says that it is unclean for that individual.
We should always be seeking God in our homeschooling (and life) decisions. If you feel a conviction in your heart about not watching TV, or not buying curriculum because of your budget, or letting God determine your family size – that is wonderful! You are listening to His voice and following His prompting in your life.
But placing that conviction on anyone else’s shoulders is wrong. It is not their burden. It is also probably the worst way to share your beliefs. Trying to cram your convictions down your friend’s throat will probably result in them pulling away from you and your beliefs.
If you are truly passionate about sharing what God is doing in your heart, then let it be shared with humility and grace, and most importantly in love – without conditions or condemnation.
This passage goes on to say,
If your brother or sister is distressed because of your conviction – you are no longer acting in love. If you are causing them to feel judged and guilty because they do not live the same way as you and make the same choices as you, you could be destroying them. They are a child of God just like you – Christ died for them as He did for you. He loves them and if He wants to change them, He will stir up their hearts and give them a desire for change.
God may use you to help change the hearts and minds of others – God has often used my friends and family to challenge and stretch me in my faith – but your brothers and sisters must always know that your love and support for them is not contingent on any earthly preference. We are Kingdom-minded, supernaturally loving on one another. We know that the things of this earth will pass away. Curriculum, dresses, TV, dance classes…they are but shifting sand – easily blown away by the winds of change.
The kingdom of God is not a matter of preferences and convictions. It is a matter of living righteously, being at peace with others, and joyfully sharing the love of God, He will be pleased with us and we will be approved by men. They will see what we are doing, how we are living, the convictions we stand for and they will want to be like us. Not because we are judging them or cramming our choices down their throats. But because when others peer into our lives – they see Jesus. Lead them by example ever closer to the heart of God, accept that God may not give them the same convictions as you, and allow the Holy Spirit to change their hearts and minds.
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Emily Powers is a redeemed daughter of the King; wife to Ben, a Pastor and her high school sweetheart; and mama to three precious souls, Evelyn, Beckett and Annabel. An imperfect recovering perfectionist, Emily enjoys baking, sewing, photography and can be found on most days in her home wearing her favorite apron, blasting worship music and homeschooling her children. Emily is a former preschool teacher and a published children's book author. She shares her homeschooling & motherhood journey on her blog Teachable {MOM}ents; where you can find her series The Apron Memoirs - which celebrates the beauty of womanhood, along with her free Preschool Resources. Her passion is helping other moms see the eternal value in their motherhood roles, finding and cherishing the teachable {mom}ents in each day!
Latest posts by Emily Powers (see all)
- The Beatitudes of Homeschooling - April 9, 2018
- No Homeschool Schedule? No Problem! Find What Works for your Family! - January 12, 2018
- The Homeschooler’s Guide to Letting Go of the School Mentality - September 19, 2017
- When Your Homeschool Needs a Fresh Start + Free 2014 Goal Setting Chart - January 1, 2014
- Teaching a Giving Spirit - November 25, 2013
This is well-written, Emily, and I think a message more of us need to hear. How can we share the gospel of peace if we’re caught up in our own little wars? I believe truth and grace go hand-in-hand. When we separate the two, we only cause problems for fellow believers and even the unsaved. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
This is such an important message! Unfortunately, so many of us have, at one time or another, put a “do as I do or you’re not a Christian” message out there.
There’s an additional level to Paul’s message that I think is important for this discussion as well. Romans 14:20-21 – “Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. . . It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.” So yes, agree to disagree, but also be willing to give up some of your Christian freedom to help your brother or sister in Christ. For instance, if there is a homeschooling mom in my co-op who is a newer Christian and who believes that wearing skirts is the only God-honoring way for women to dress, maybe I should wear skirts to co-op – not because I give in to legalism, but because I love my sister and don’t want to cause her distress in her walk with God.
AMEN!!! Thank you so much for this post, Emily!! As a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom I can easily find myself wrapped up in the wars of the world. I am so consumed with what God has called me to do that if I’m not careful my blessing can take on an attitude of its own. Your words truly spoke to me today and I am so thankful. Jen is right…truth and grace must go hand-in-hand. Thank you for the reminder!!! Blessings!
Amen, sister! Thanks for the post! Getting caught up in all that drama is so stressful. I have been there, but praise God, I didn’t stay there.
How did you know!?! I keep seeing posts of my friends that make me upset. I want to say something so bad but don’t. But I do stew all day. Just because we home school, breastfeed, drink raw milk, don’t drink sodas, or follow mainstream medicine doesn’t mean that everyone should or that I should do anything about their choices. No matter what my opinion is. This will help my heart find peace within my head. And hopefully help me to sleep better and stew free. 🙂
Emily, beautifully written, thank you. Really helped me today. Have a blessed day. Tara.
Thank you! I struggle to remember often that God knows my, my personality (that He gave me!) and the styles that help me to ‘succeed’- with His help! I often feel like a square peg in a round hole, so different from everyone on the Internet at least! But our way of doing things is fine, relevant, and acceptable, and we don’t stress out trying to be who we think we ought. Why is this so difficult to remember?? I am also finding so many Christian leaders are becoming inspirational speakers, and rattling off sayings that have some truth, but because we ‘like’ them, we ‘buy’ the whole cow and feel bad if we can’t measure up. All I can say is THANK GOD FOR HIS GRACE!
Thank you Emily! This is so timely as I prepare to go to a playgroup tomorrow where we have a bible study and special day to share curriculum what has worked/ not worked for us. I have encountered legalism before about curriculum and I know I won’t measure up with my lack of curriculum. We don’t feel led to spend tons of money as we don’t have much of it. Praying all will be encouraged at the group tomorrow!
Great point, Amanda! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Great point, Amanda! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Oh, me too! It is so easy to get sucked in and become self-righteous! Thankful for His grace 🙂
You are so right! God knows our gifting and limitations – and we only need to concern ourselves with pleasing Him <3
Very interesting thoughts on the matter (thank you for posting right at the top that this does not include God’s Laws! Not saying we need to march out and point them out to people but that it is ok for us to not see the sins as ok) Also I was interested in the thoughts on Romans 14:20-21 I will have to meditate on that a bit as it seems a little complex 🙂
AAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!!! This is SO good!!!!! Amen!!!!
Thanks so much for sharing this. I find in the day we live in, this goes for all who calls themselves Christians. Everyone wants to argue about everything, making us look like fools. I’m not saying we are not to stand up for the Word of God, only with grace and humility though. When I was a new believer some 20 years ago, I thought totally different than I do today. The Lord convicted me in areas and I needed to let some flesh things go. Today I still have Him show me daily, rather it be attitude, clothes, or how to raise my children. We are all learning and need to cut some slack to other believers, thankfully Jesus does.
This post is SO good! I am sharing it right now!! Thank you, Emily!